Lately i have been really confused, and really tired of life seriously. I keep asking myself why is it that life for me is just so "weird"? Cause its like i can be great with handling kids, playing sports, making new friends easily, but... why when it comes to finding love.... its just so hard and totally impossible that i could make it happen? In the past i can understand, because i do not really know the meaning of liking somone and loving somone, thus i will always act too harshly and just thought that treating her well by giving her sweets and buying gifts and such would be enough. But, i was wrong, not only that i didnt gain her, i also lost the trust of my friends where im always being called a flirt, thus since then, I do not know who was my true friends and who wasnt. All these years I really felt lonely not having somone who i can really share my feelings with and that i would have to keep them within me. So after accumulating so much troubles in me, It just really starting to get hard for me to bear with it all alone to myself. 2011, it really was a turning point for me, as i finally know the true definition and feelings of loving somone. But sadly, i fell in love with somone who i shouldnt have as she's already attached, and i was still hoping miracle would happen, but i was wrong , i shouldnt have tried to interfere with her heart and should just wish her well with her r/s. Because of that... not only did i lose the trust of her to me, i also lost the chance to become close friends with her again. Now we are just like hi and bye friends... :'(

P.S. I really missed the days where in school we will smile to each other when we meet, as its because being able to see your smile in school, was the biggest motivation for me to go to school no matter what! Lasly, I MISS YOU GORGEOUS HAHAS! =D

Not only that, I have also regretted of a decision i have made 2-3 years ago where i was actually in love with this girl, but at that time, i just wasnt really sure of it. And after she got into a few r/s, well honestly speaking, i was really jealous of her previous bfs when she mentioned about them, but well what could i do? Nothing. And then... Each time when i see how sad she was after her break-ups, i told myself i wouldnt want to see that sadness of her again, thus... i really had a stupid thinking inplanted in me, which is that i thought of i might not be able to be a good boyfriend who can really bring happiness to her, so in order to not hurt her feelings once again, i decided that i should just be her bestest and closest friend, or i can just treat her like my own sister to take care of. What a joke right? Now that i think of it, i was really dumb in making that decision, as an angel was just by my side all this while and i just didnt realised it. I should have just confessed to her before, get hold of her heart and try to bring the happiness that she wants to her. But now, im glad that she has really found somone that they both are in love with each other, and seeing how she smiles when mentioning about him, well first of course will feel jealous luh HAHAS!! but then again, im glad that shes really happy with who she is now and i will definitely give her my support with the decisions that she makes.

P.S. Im really sorry for not answering to my feelings and not cherishing you enough before, if not you wouldnt have to go through all the pains in those r/s. Thinking back on how sad you always are whenever u ended with ur bf, it just really pains my heart that somhow its because of me that u have to go through those hardships. So now, i will definitely try my very best to give you the amount of happiness that should have been given to you for the past 2-3 years, and that im glad to be able to be your closest male "Sista" to you HAHAS! SISTA FTW YEA!? Oh and lastly, you will always be the one and only XIAO LE LE in my whole life hahas!!! :D